Catalogue your insanity
type the small words
push them from you
fingers and feet
and fury first
find the flippant denial
affirm it
bend
forget what you used to call her
learn the name of her new lover
write it on wax paper
burn it
forget the smell of her cunt
carry one poem to orgasm
erase the lines
catalogue the blood
drink the solution with intent
it was meant to be so
accept it
chant the inevitable and fold her picture in three
tear into the center of her face
copy the broken image
and send it to her
imagine her happy
smile slitting the frame
imagine her in Iowa
cornfields bending beneath another's hand
the soft land warming her back
catalogue her leaving
admit that she was never there
imagine her driving
haikus scattered from Denver
to Kentucky to Khartoum
construct a betrayal
make it a thing of unspeakable beauty
forgive her
slit your wrists
survive
count the number of times you have kissed her
multiply by three
imagine she kisses Iowa
five times more than that
pack
unpack
pull your shoe-strings tighter than you need to
shave your head
move to Indianapolis
buy a dog
call her impossible
call her cell phone
hang up
call again
obsess
fuck other women who remind you of her
study their scent
shower less
stare at strangers
slip in and out of reality
do not explain yourself
survive<
sleep with a man
swallow your fist
feel
survive
scrape the flesh from your unstable legs
abort the skeleton that stands there
ingest one gallon of paraffin
light a match from the box she left by your bedside
imagine her happy
then inhale
------------------------------------------------
While researching for a midterm, I also stumbled across an interview Keith Boykin had with Stacyann Chin that is definitely worth reading. The interview centers around the controversey over homophobia in Jamaican dancehall and reggae, in addition to offering Staceyann's insights on the value of outsider/insider critique's of culture. Enjoy.
Peace,
J
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