the job blues

So I haven't been writing.
At least on this blog.
I have been writing cover letters, tinkering with my resume in countless ways, and checking boxes.

There's something nerve wreaking about looking for a job. Sure, there is always that am I good enough anxiety that perplexes the mind. Then there is that, shit-I have a master's degree-I deserve to be paid more mentality.

Leaving the academic world has given me the chills. To be quite honest, I don't think I've faced reality. Classes have started, books have been paid for, drop and add slips have been processed and for the first time in five and half years, I won't be a part of it. My main anxiety: if I leave will I ever return? Will I ever be more prepared or more experienced for academia as people claim I will be?

To be honest, leaving the academic world is an effort to make more money. Pay off some loans, buy my own car, and save up for the future. As a broke student of color, I honestly, don't think I can get far without feeling some sense of economic stability.

Who knows, maybe in the process I will finally be able to feed myself without raiding my mom's fridge.

Wish me luck!