Tuesday, April 29, 2008
#178909 reason to rescind my Black Card:
I'm Obama'ed out.
I'm not pro-Hillary or any more critical of Obama than I've ever been. But today I got another personalized campaign update, and after the initial giddiness, I realized that millions of other subscribers had gotten the same thing. Before even bothering to read it, I deleted it. This election has officially become fucking annoying.
Every ounce of coverage is starting to annoy me. Did I see Rev. Wright's latest speeches? No. Did I see how North Carolina's governor endorsed Hillary? Well, yeah, 'cause obviously I know that shit happened. But that's only because I still have a slightly played out habit of watching the morning news to start my day. When it comes to any and everything regarding election '08, I'm over it.
So work with me on this one. I'm trying to figure out exactly why, when and how I became completely uninterested in one of the biggest events of our era. Maybe it was last week, when a judge in Queens let Sean Bell's murderers get off and there was hardly any national news coverage. That definitely had me heated in the far removed but collectively outraged kind of way, but my disinterest in the election started way before that.
Maybe what really bothers me is that this election is a spectacle. Campaign 08' is big shit. An event. It's like a big ass family BBQ. It began hella late, got juicy when folks started fighting, got uncomfortable when someone's honest ass uncle spoke the truth about how fucked up the family was (Rev. Wright), and people got even more uncomfortable when somebody's hush-hush white girl said some dumb shit (Hillary's aide) loud enough for everyone else to hear. Now people are beefin' hella hard by playing dirty; bringing up bad histories, drug addictions, baby mama's and ashy nephews. Meanwhile, I'm one of those relatives looking at my phone every 30 seconds, trying to find the perfect time to spout an acceptable lie and bounce.
But back to the spectacle. By nature of the monumental proportion's of this election, the issues and debates brewing because of it become spectacles. Take everybody's favorite issue: race. CNN is running hour long features on the "state of Black America". Shouldn't that be enough? What more does my Black womanist ass want?
Maybe what I'm about to say, right here, in the next paragraph or two, will get my Black card revoked. Again. But fuck it:
Maybe I'm afraid to have a Black man become president.
Because putting a Black face and progressive politics on an old problem just doesn't seem so alluring to me. I'm still pro-Obama, but if the past few months have been any indication, a Black man becoming president might make shit way too complicated. Television pundits and the like will be evoking race, and Martin Luther King, and Civil Rights Movement, in some post-racial nod to how much we're improving, and our President will be physical evidence of that.
Who knows. Maybe if Cynthia McKinney were in Obama's position, I might feel the same way. When it comes to the kinds of politics that wear dark colored suits and sit behind big wooden desks, I have a hard time getting excited. I can't project my hopes and desires entirely onto a symbol, a myth, a construction of the news media -- or even my own -- imagination.