Today

Today, I’m overwhelmed. Worn seams bursting with hate
And love. disillusionment
And care.

Today, I feel tired of pain,
Of my own, and of others’.
Soaked denim weighing heavy with what this world has us believe about
Ourselves.

Today, I wonder how many times I will pray for death,
Before I will be free to live.
How many times the queer ones and brown ones will shed tears as blood
Pours from self-inflicted wounds,
Dying ivory cuffs crimson, spreading
Through fibers like so much hate we’ve learned to feel towards who
We are.

Today, I am missing
Her and him and you and we.
Longing for the false togetherness of complimenting outfits in family portraits,
Because at least, being together, we haven’t completely lost each other.
Not yet.

Today, I actually want to go back to
Where I came from. In more ways than one.
I want to lay there, touching soil to skin to
Root myself in
Something.

Today, I want to share
Tenderness, placed gently on shoulders to cut the
Cold.
Because it’s been so long since I’ve felt it.
And longer since I’ve given it to
Myself.

Today, I want to wrap women in my arms and hold them
Tight.
And safe.
Secure, protected, they can cry or
Scream or
Laugh or
Sleep,
Enveloped in the warmth of undefined
Love.

© The Playground, 2008.