Let's talk about Sex

From Wednesday to Wednesday, May 28-June 4, 2008, The Playground will be participating in the Fourth Youth Media Blog-a-thon hosted by YO! Youth Outlook Multimedia and WireTap. Youth bloggers– along with any bloggers dedicated to writing about youth issues and youth media – will address the topic of sex.


I'm a punk. The topic for this month's youth media blog-a-thon was sex and I slyly sidestepped the issue by writing about dating. There are plenty of reasons for my topic evasion, but I think it's futile for me to make excuses at this point in the game. I've got to own this—I'm shy about putting my shit out there. So now, in my true drop-and-run fashion, I'm writing my real sex blog at the session's closing. I guess you can consider the last blog foreplay…

Ain't nothin sexier than mutual respect. The best sex I've had was with my recent ex. When I say "best," I mean GOOOOOOD. Like lung straining, earth shaking, leg slamming, vibrating, can't tell which way is up— GOOOOOOD. We were together for 2.5 years, plenty of time to discover each other and ourselves and the rhythms we made as a single unit. Together, we discovered our own sensualities and sexualities; we became one through fingertips, through skin on skin, curve in curve, brown melting in the heat of brown, chocolate and cinnamon and so delicious love.

So why am I talking about respect? Well, what was a home run for us, most would consider 3rd base. Our sex never involved a phallus—no dick or dildo or even digits played that role. Yes, survivors of different gender-based traumas, we made penetration-free, passionate love night after night to soulful heart-beats and the melodies of our breath.

And it was the BEST I've ever had. Respecting her made me feel sexy as hell: suave and caring and so completely in tune with her body that I knew she was climaxing before she did. And she respected me, too. She learned to caress my female figure, mold it into "gentleman" through kiss and touch. She helped me feel the parts of me that had for so long existed only in my mind's eye; she made them flesh. And Flush.

I was bashful about writing this out of fear of who might read it. I was worried that my friends and I wouldn’t be able to look each other eye to eye again, or that she might read this post and be triggered by its contents; to be honest, I still am. But I wrote anyway... because I'm still overwhelmed by the passion between us. And because I need to give voice to the beauty of mutual respect in sexual relationships.